Dad and I liked to talk about football, fishing and politics. Well, he liked talking politics more then I mainly because he would talk more then listen on this subject.Last week marked the beginning of the college and NFL seasons. I think since dad retired 13 years or so ago we have talked about the Oklahoma Sooners and Dallas Cowboys every season. We would talk once a week either on the phone or email depending on the importance of the game. We would discuss every detail from team play to individual performance, and the play calling strategy of the coaches. Most of the time we could agree but sometimes we would disagree and voices would raise an octave or two as the passion from the game will spill over into our conversation. These conversations could last two hours at a time in which we would also discuss family matters depending on what what was happening at the time. I was and still am not someone who likes talking on the phone. At times I would complain when you would call or after we got of the phone. I see now how easy it is to take time for granted. Sorry dad that I ever complained about talking with you.
We think there will be another day, week or season as we navigate our lives by the clock. It is not until we loose someone close to us that we may realize that these daily or weekly conversations should not be governed by time. I am realizing as this football season moves forward one game at a time that I miss having you to discuss and commiserate with about bad calls by officials and wins that should have been.
This seasonal ritual ushered in by the first kickoff continues accept it is now me and my sons having these same conversations.
I miss you more than I thought I would dad. I just did not understand how much until this past week. I read some old emails you sent me that I kept. Some were about Nakota and Kholtens football season and some were the early beginnings of the cancer that would silently and quickly steal future seasons from our ritual conversations. I could not stop the tears and the empty spot in my heart was not filled by the memories of the past. If I allow myself to start thinking about you my tears are endless it seems.
The reality that you are no longer on this earth is settling in like a bad football season. But, like a tough player with an injury, I continue to play the game of life. I know you are encouraging me on too.
The season has not started out well for the Sooners Dad. Bradford is hurt and they lost their first game. A victory over a hapless team the next week is no solice for an unfulfilled season...
