Known as the smartest and wealthiest man in the world in his time, King Solomon shares the wisdom of his life’s journey in this great book. He does so not as a king, but as a teacher, sharing his life experiences with us. Like all people, he did not have total control of his life. This book is his recognition that God alone determines all that happens on the earth.
Like a deep well of wisdom, it is from this book that I have drawn deeply when in doubt. After my Dad passed away, my mom shared with me that they believed in the “seasons of life” so brilliantly described in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. My wife and I find a calming influence from the wisdom that "For everything there is a season and time for every matter under heaven". I find comfort in this “rhythm of life” described in these passages. Other Bible verses refer to the “seasons of life” as well. For instances, several passages use the phrase "and it came to pass," which shares the same wisdom of the “seasons of life.” I get comfort from knowing that events in our lives "come to pass." These events are opportunities for me to learn patience and display faith and courage.
We all have or will experience doubt in our lives. Jesus deals gently with the uncertainties of Thomas (John 20:26-29) who is more commonly known as Doubting Thomas. God expects doubts and questions from us. In fact, he invites them. The Book of Job illustrates how gently God deals with our doubt. Job openly questions God and expresses himself openly as he struggles to make sense of the calamities that have befallen him.
The recent movie called Doubt also provides an excellent contrast of doubt and trust. One of my favorite lines spoken by the main character, Father Brendan Flynn is "Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone." We can find comfort in knowing that we are experiencing the same feelings many others are feeling too.
I say all this because losing someone close to us usually stirs up doubt, spiritual thoughts, and questions. Many Americans live in fear of the "specter of death” and its inevitability. I too, feared death at one time. This is not to say that I don’t have any fear of death. Death represents the unknown, and it is the unknown that haunts me the most. Death is the last frontier of life. It is like the ocean. Humans have explored very little of the ocean, so it remains an”unknown” that many people fear; like the ocean, there is something mystical about death that fascinates us yet scares us too.
We must learn to embrace what we fear. In my opinion, our culture shuns death and ignores the sick and elderly. Ecclesiastes 7:3 states, “Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.” What is the refining influence sorrow has on us? Losing someone close to us has a refining effect because it causes us to contemplate our own mortality, humbling and sobering us. When we are young, we think we are immortal. We take chances we would never take once we are old enough to know better.
We will all suffer loss and experience sorrow in our lives. My family has not dealt with much sorrow until now. With the recent passing of my dad and mother-in-law, my family was confronted with a long “season of sorrow.”
During these life-changing events, my children demonstrated courage beyond my imagination. Courage isn’t defined as not being afraid of something; it means being strong enough to confront fear.
Everyone deals with death and sorrow in their own way. You never truly know how one will react until confronted with death. However, my children confronted death and sorrow head on. They spent every moment they could with my Dad in the three weeks leading up to his death. They cried with me, shared their memories, and still do today. They lived out Ecclesiastes 7:3 before my eyes.
God in Isaiah 58:6-7, defines religion: "No, the kind of fasting (fasting = sacrificing self) I want calls you to free those who are wrongly imprisoned and to stop oppressing those who work for you. Treat them fairly and give them what they earn. I want you to share your food with the hungry and to welcome poor wanderers into your homes. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.” When you spend time with the sick and dying, you are practicing, "true religion." Is it any surprise that Jesus spent most of his time healing the sick and raising the dead?
I shouldn’t be surprised because all my children have attended funerals of family and friends without my wife or me encouraging them to go. They do so in spite of their own conscious fear of death. In spite of their fear, they were right there with me in the viewing room with my Dad. In fact, when we came home from my Dad's funeral, we went to the viewing and funeral of a neighbor who tragically passed away while we were gone.
My children have demonstrated courage in this “season of sorrow.” These life experiences strengthen them and they will never be the same.
