The Truth

For everything there is a season, And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted
A time to kill, and a time to heal
A time to break down, and a time to build up
A time to weep, and a time to laugh
A time to mourn, and a time to dance
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing
A time to seek, and a time to lose
A time to keep, and a time to throw away
A time to tear, and a time to sew
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak
A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

This is my familes time to weep, mourn, and embrace ...

It is said that "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". On July 29, 2009 my family learned the truth that my 80 year old father will soon die from complications of Pancreatic Cancer. Pancreatic Cancer is a ruthless and silent killer. This blog is not about Pancreatic Cancer. It is about life. Death is part of living.

I found out about the "truth" from my heart broken mother on the phone while at work. I new right away that I needed to go. The short trip from Fort Worth to Tulsa is a familiar one for me and my family. However, the circumstances this time are unlike any for my family. My family has been spared of any real loss of an immediate family member. We have not been touched by cancer like so many families have until today. Lisa and I (my beautiful wife of 33 years) and I talked and cried on our 4.5 hour trip. I felt that time was standing still. Though I had quickly accepted the outcome I found myself wanting the trip to take longer. I new that once I saw my mom and sister and stepped into that hospital room the "Truth" would become life's "final answer" to quote a line from a popular game show. This was a truth my family must accept but does not readily embrace.

This cold truth was quickly melted by a warming smile from my father. I learned today that death is not the truth. It is life that is the truth. I realized that the time was quickly coming that I would no longer see his welcoming smile and feel his strong embrace.

My mom, sister and wife stared down the poor Doctor as we interrogated her. It was dance of hesitant partners. She was not aware that we had not been told that he has a short time to live. She spoke the truth in love has she delivered life's most difficult message. As I stood next to mom it was like she had been punched in the stomach. I felt the urge to be strong for her but I could not contain my tears. And so the process of accepting the "truth" begins...

I stayed with my dad until he took his sleeping pill and peacefully drifted off to sleep. This is not the end. It is only the beginning.