I'll Save a Seat for you Dad

The annual rite of fall used to be about the harvest time; in my family, fall is about football. Autumn reminds me of the weekly conversations I had with my dad when we talked about Oklahoma and Dallas Cowboys football. Since my father’s death, silence and memories have replaced our spirited weekly discussions about our favorite football teams.

During Oklahoma and Cowboys football games, I place a little football helmet appropriate for the game on top of a small container of his ashes on my TV to remind me of our mutual love for both teams.

I’ve now replaced my dad in my family; I talk about football with my sons, daughters, and sons-in-law during the season. These conversations satisfy enjoyment of my family and football, but they don’t fill the hole in my heart that only dad could fill. I am learning to let memories of him comfort my crying soul and let time fill in the gaps that only time can fill.

Like it or not, life is about change and change keeps on rolling just as a new football season comes and goes each year; his passing is only the beginning of many changes to come in my life.

I miss you, Dad.

I Was a Father and Young

I can still remember the anticipation and excitement I felt on the eve of the biggest event of my life. I was only 19, a child myself at the time. It felt like Christmas Eve, and I could hardly sleep. The night passed slowly, but the morning came quickly. Off to the hospital we went, two scared but excited children.

Family came to share in the anticipation and expected celebration. The waiting room, filled with conversation, smelled of coffee and cigarette smoke.

Jessica’s safe arrival was a blessing. She is the first of four children and the first grandchild born to our families. She is special!

I  was but a child, and I didn’t really comprehend the fullness of the moment. As I look back, I realize how overwhelmed I was by Jessica’s arrival. Her birth was like the sun on a cool and cloudy autumn morning pushing away the clouds and brightening my world forever. She warmed the day and my heart with her smile. She brought meaning and purpose to the life of a boy who suddenly became a father.
I have enjoyed watching her grow into a strong, confident, and beautiful young woman and mother. I am proud of Jessica; she leaves a drop of grace with every step she takes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!