The annual rite of fall used to be about the harvest time; in my family, fall is about football. Autumn reminds me of the weekly conversations I had with my dad when we talked about Oklahoma and Dallas Cowboys football. Since my father’s death, silence and memories have replaced our spirited weekly discussions about our favorite football teams.
During Oklahoma and Cowboys football games, I place a little football helmet appropriate for the game on top of a small container of his ashes on my TV to remind me of our mutual love for both teams.
I’ve now replaced my dad in my family; I talk about football with my sons, daughters, and sons-in-law during the season. These conversations satisfy enjoyment of my family and football, but they don’t fill the hole in my heart that only dad could fill. I am learning to let memories of him comfort my crying soul and let time fill in the gaps that only time can fill.
Like it or not, life is about change and change keeps on rolling just as a new football season comes and goes each year; his passing is only the beginning of many changes to come in my life.
I miss you, Dad.
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