Football, fishing, politics and death

It has been roughly three weeks since I learned that my dad was given a death sentenced by cancer. I have been home every weekend since and will be going home every weekend until the end. It is my intention to be there for his last breath God willing. It seems poetic that he was there to experience my first breath and I be there to experience his last. You see, these last four weeks have possibly been the best I have had with my dad.

They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. I have looked deeply into his eyes many times during this most difficult time. I can't think of any time prior that we shared a glimpse of each others soul. In fact, we are sharing something most profound in my mind. It is amazing that sharing can occur without saying a thing. Dad was never the most affectionate person. Being a father of grown children, I can understand how awkward it is to be affectionate with grown children. You think they don't need it and you think you don't need it. Dad has shared touch with me like never before. I am compelled to kiss him on the cheek when I see him. I want to hold his hand and he reaches for mine. My grandchildren have revived my need for affection. Their unconditional love has a healing power mostly overlooked by the world.

Yes, dad and I have spoken much the last three weeks. we talk about football, fishing, politics and death. My dad and I have always talked about fishing and football. We didn't see eye to eye about politics until recently. Death is a difficult subject for most. I believe death is part of living and is a deeply spiritual experience. Death knows no stranger and comes to the rich and the poor. No one can escape deaths grasp. We can run all our life from death only to end up in the same place as those who embraced the reality. Embracing what we are afraid of is the only way to live our lives. Live day to day for the troubles of tomorrow are sufficient unto themselves.

Conversing with my dad about death is a spiritual experience for me. He seems more comfortable talking about death now then he does talking about living. I guess in a way he is living in both worlds. I have to believe it is difficult waiting for death to take his last breath. Everyday he must wonder if it will be his last. I pray that God will strengthen him for the battle to come and that he will embrace him when he crosses over. For all the weight he feels now I know soon he will be set free of this earthly body and only feel the loving embrace of God. I know that loved ones are waiting anxiously for his arrival and I am comforted by the Spirit of God to know one day he will be waiting for me as I finish this life's journey. It is with sorrow and joy that I contemplate my dad's last day on earth. I will miss him in ways I can't experience now. I am sincerely thankful for this time capsule to truly get to know him in a way not possible when the cares of this world steal away our attention from those who are the most important in our lives.

I always loved my dad but my love for him now is more like a rainbow with many colors. I am experiencing love physically, emotionally and spiritually.

It is a blessing from my two dads....